Of course Jesus had peace. He didn’t have kids.

Picture this. My wife and I and our five sons skipping, yes skipping, hand in hand singing hymns on the way to church. Can you believe it? Okay, this is not even close to our reality. But is that a good thing or a bad thing? Of all the aspects of our faith, the most challenging and confounding is addressing our children’s faith or the lack of it. Only our own faith matters more to us. When the kids are very young it is wonderful. You sing and pray with them and they are content. Some are blessed with a special grace and merge relatively peacefully into the Christian walk. But many reject or rebel — just like their parents did. Or worse, they comply just to please you and not God.

Sure, anyone can be full of grace when they don’t have sick and screaming kids hanging all over them. Healing leprosy is child’s play compared to navigating the hormonal battle field of a 15 year old. Sometimes I wish Jesus had been a father and also that his example as a parent found its way into the Bible. Wouldn’t that be great?

When his kid threweth a temper tantrum, the Son of Man dealteth with it in this manner…

When his pre-teen suffereth anguish the Nazarene thusly handled it…

When his adolescent experimenteth with alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, the opposite sex, dangerous behavior, etc… God’s Son spoketh thusly…

Some of the most powerful temptations appear when it comes to our kids developing a relationship with Christ. Often it is a strong desire to control the outcome. Or maybe apathy appears disguised as a false humility. Perhaps we don’t want them to suffer the trials of the Christian walk (ouch… tough one). Either way we want so dearly for it to turn out all right yet it is so completely out of our control. We are neither the owners nor the givers of Gods’ grace.

As difficult as it may be, I know when my children reject, or appear to reject, the faith that I have to let it go. My Issac must be placed upon the altar in adoration. My example must be sufficient. Then, when they discover Jesus on their own, it will be all theirs and not some distorted by-product of my will.

So we don’t have “Jesus the parent”, but we do have a fatherly example. A Father who gave us his most prized possession. A Father who gave us everything, and we are his children. How infinitely patient he was with me. How merciful and tender was his healing grace. He always had time for me and he always was there. I never even came close to the limit of his forgiveness even though I tried. And in this interplay of being God’s child and being a father I discover little by little the answers. He answers all my questions and all my fears.


9 comments on “Of course Jesus had peace. He didn’t have kids.

  1. Naphtali says:

    Vince, this is absolutely your best post! love it!

  2. Tammy says:

    Rough to read, Vince, as I have had a struggle in the past year with my own kids renouncing their faith. Part of it makes so much sense to me because I have had a really bad 5 years with my church, personally and they have experienced it along with me. Part of it makes sense in that the ages they are at are the ages that one explores and questions and needs to grow in ways that do pose questions of the faith. Part of it makes no sense to me, though. It is yet another parenting/Christian growth lesson I have been/am trying to learn. Sad to experience, yet at the same time we have to give it all to God and have faith that He’ll handle it for us. And carefully consider what acting out of Love means when it comes to parenting.
    I wish I could look into the future sometimes…you know? But of course, I can’t so I have to look at myself and give myself a talking to as though I am my own wiser, elder. Giving myself advice. Sort of like you have done for yourself, and for us!
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your walk with your readers. Peace be with you.

    • Vince Chough says:

      Tammy… I write it easier than I do it. It does help to write about it though. It sinks in a little deeper. In the midst of the struggle though, I often lose my center. But I know where to find it, and hopefully my children will follow that example when the time comes. Thank you so much for accompanying me. Grace and blessings.

  3. Well said, Vince. Talk about true love as a parent…giving your only son to the world to die for all of the not-so-great stuff we all do as people. Wow. Doesn’t get any more powerful than that. Great post, my friend. Hope you are well.

  4. granbee says:

    The more often we take God’s hand as our Father, the more we can touch our children (and grandchildren) with love, wisdom, and understanding.

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