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It’s late at night, the usual time for this sort of thinking. “What a mess I’ve made,” you think and your head swirls around and around. And the darkness closes in and maybe even a fleeting thought of wishing for an end to it all enters into your mind. It is the darkest hour.
“What was I thinking?”
“Why did I say that?”
“Why did I do that?”
“Why did this have to happen to me?”
“It’s too late now. Things have gone too far.”
“I can’t believe I made the same mistake again.”
“Why did this have to happen to him (or her)?”
“I did the best that I can, but I am a failure.”
“What am I going to do now?”
And the cycle of despair goes around and around in your head as you toss and turn.
There once was a Jewish spiritual leader that hung on a tree and his disciples must have thought similar thoughts. “What in the world were we thinking following him? What a failure! Look at him there hanging dead. I’m so ashamed of him and myself for following him. Now what am I going to do?”
Some may not believe in Satan, but I do. He’s the one that tells me that I am a failure late at night. When I think about trouble my children might have. When I think about economic struggles. When I think about dreams that seem dashed upon the rocks of my soul… obliterated forever.
And maybe that young Jewish rabbi might have thought, even if just for an instant in his humanity, “Father, didn’t I do as you asked? Didn’t I do my best? Is this how it has to end? Why have you abandoned me? What a mess.”
But still, he hoisted his cross. He walked the walk. He saw it through to the end. And yes, it was messy and bloody and tremendously sorrowful. But in the end His Father glorified Him. In the end He was restored and seated at the right hand of His Father. “You did it Son. You are a King.”
Walk the walk. See it through. Do not listen to the enemy. The accuser that tells you all hope is lost, but the devil’s a liar. Put him in his place by holding fast to the example and power of Jesus. If you don’t know Him, seek Him now. There you will find all the strength you need. Let Christ crush the serpent’s head and lead you to victory.
In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:37-39)